Existential therapy

Existential therapy is concerned with being, of what it is to be - to exist. There are three key areas of interest:

• Freedom
• Meaning
• Anxiety

The purpose of therapy is not about fixing broken clients but about helping people accept who they are and come to terms with life as a human being. This isn't to say that clients see no change in their lives - since people are free to change at any time.

Freedom

Human beings are free to choose their destiny. We are completely free and so responsible for all the choices we make. This responsibility is, to varying degrees, a source of tension and anxiety.

Meaning

Life has no meaning other than the meaning we give our own lives. It is up to all of us to find value in life, to give ourselves a reason to live. None of us is immortal, one day our lives will be over. Most of us try to make the time we do have as meaningful as possible. For some this is simply a fact of life but for most of us the need to immortalize ourselves is to some degree a permanent feature of our lives.

This feeling can manifest as the desire to leave a legacy that ensures we are remembered long after we are dead - a great act, a work of art, something that changes or benefits society. We may invest heavily in our children and descendants so we can live on in some way through them. Some try to avoid death through the idea of an afterlife or reincarnation. Ultimately, for the overwhelming majority of us the chances are great that everything we do with our lives will be forgotten in just a few generations as if we never existed.

Such thoughts are often at the heart of preoccupations with career and advancement, wasted time, limited chances, unrealistic goals, expectations and hopes.

Anxiety

Anxiety is a natural state of being. This need not be experienced as physical fear but is the motivating drive behind action. Fear of failure pushes people to make a success of their lives (my life was meaningless if I died a failure). Fear of being alone pushes people to find love (a life lived alone isn't worth living). When failures occur or love is lost it is experienced with anxiety. If someone's business fails or their marriage breaks down, they not only experience a sense of loss, losing what they had, but of wasting a large part of what little time they have to make something of their lives.

Some people motivated by thoughts of success consistently avoid committing themselves or avoid opportunities to prevent the possibility of 'wasting life' on a failure. Others constantly search for the 'one', their ideal partner or soul-mate to devote their lives to, avoiding committed relationships for fear they may go wrong and end up being a 'waste of life'. These avoidance strategies avoid wasting time in one way but involve avoiding the things that give life meaning and make it valuable.

The anxiety that motivates us to act can become the motivation behind not acting. Ultimately the choice and the responsibility is ours - not only to act but to find meaning. It may get to the point that a person feels living a meaningful life is impossible, leading to despair.

Stress caused by this existential anxiety can bring about the experience of physical fear, which may fixate on objects and situations leading to phobias or a general feeling of anxiety with the possible experience of panic attacks.

What Existential therapy involves

The therapist's job is not to tell you the answer to your problems - this is something only you can find. The meaning I strive to find in my life will be right for me but not necessarily for you. I will not be looking to unearth unconscious drives pushing you in the 'wrong direction' or to offer consolations for the suffering you experience. During sessions we discuss and explore your search for meaning and the ultimate goal in life, the necessary result of finding meaning - happiness.

If you think Existential therapy may be right for you see
Fees & Booking